You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
