I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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