haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
