There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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