i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
