He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
