ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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