You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
