yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
