Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize