somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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