Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
