Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
