I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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