he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
