i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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