i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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