1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
