I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
