Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize