I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
