Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
don't judge my taste in strippers
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
