i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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