How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
