im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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