I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
