why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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