My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
