Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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