I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
