she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm gonna fight the coyote
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize