you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
