A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
ok first of all what the fuck
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
