So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
