can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
