Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
