did you get engaged???
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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