I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
