i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
