I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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