the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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