break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
