It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
