I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
