Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
