Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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