Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
