So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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