dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
