Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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