I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
