That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She's the barista slut.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
