watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All I want is dick and wine.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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