Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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