Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
