Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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