doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
