She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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