I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
