so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize