watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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