Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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