When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
