Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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