I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
