i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
