I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize