So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
