bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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