Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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