In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
your room smells of hookers.
And success
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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