And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
