Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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