I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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